Impacts of "Isms"

Reflecting on my time as an educator in the past ten years I think of many times that children and their families have been challenged by and overcome the issues related by “isms” of society. Not to mention the issues we have had in our own family with overcoming challenges as well. Watching those who are faced with the issues is not easy especially the young children I work with each day that are generally under the age of five. There are two experiences that come to mind that still to this day stay with me the impact the “isms” truly make.

First, my own experience was when my husband left for the year and it was just the kids and me. My children were enrolled in a non-military school and even with amazing and supportive teachers as well as administration my child was faced with the challenge of racism. Growing up in the military community my children are being raised in a beautiful melting pot of cultures, values and beliefs however when we went home they were enrolled in an upper middle-class school of all children who were all white. The area as a whole is not rich in minorities for my child it was odd to all look the same. I remember her coming home and being teased because she had talked to the teacher about why everyone looked the same. The teacher was gracious with her answer however the children were not. They didn’t understand why she had a black baby doll she loved and that she was confused by the lack of culture and differences with her classmates. I remember her being so hurt and upset that she wanted to give her baby doll away because a child had told her that the baby was ugly. Her teachers intervened and they explored the differences and made my Addy an educator sharing pictures and books from our travels. I hated this experience for her, but I see her growth as such an accepting and loving person since the two years this had happened.

Second, while in Alaska we had a little boy who obsessed over glitter, tutus and all things feminine in the drama area. He loved to dress up in the dresses carry purses you name it he loved it. His father had major issues and was the one we actually battled on the gender stereotyping not children or others. We had many conversations and were unable to turn his verbiage and acceptance for his son’s choice to use the “girly” stuff. He would openly tell his son he was not to wear that crap or he was a boy not a girl. I can only imagine what he may have said at home. You could visually see the disconnect between the father and son. When the mother came back from being gone from a remote it got better, but she did not intervene as much as we had hoped.

These experiences remind me to advocate and be the voice. My daughter was lucky she had support on both ends and prevailed in the end. The little guy in Alaska I can only hope that it has gotten better I still think of him from time to time. He had the love and support at school, but the lack in support at him was affecting him and you could see this at drop off and pick up. These two stories are why I continue to strive to advocate and educate others on the importance of supporting children and their families.